Going Backwards

I don't know what I did with my life when I only had one kid, but for all I complain about being so busy, I definitely don't like going backwards.  Jamie and Charlie spent the week with my parents, and my life was boring sad existence without them.   Oh sure, I got lots accomplished...all the school stuff reorganized and packed, books organized, their room reorganized and packed as much as possible, laundry done, meals on time...the kitchen was obnoxiously clean.  Robbie and I played with play dough, read books, did puzzles...and I still had time left over.    Where was all this time when it was just Jamie and I?  I swear it's a time warp continuum thing of some kind.

And it was so quiet, which had nothing to do with Robbie being a quiet kid (his idea of quiet, is stomping on his toys and hollering like a gorilla claiming his territory), and everything to do with the lack of Jamie's nonstop commentary on life.  Sometimes I think God gave him to me just to teach me structure.   I spend a great deal of effort remaining spontaneous and flexible, only to have it constantly thwarted by my eldest trying to weasel his way from "maybe" and "that could be a good idea" to distinct yes's and noes. Ho hum.

Christmas break is officially over, and school starts tomorrow morning.  I don't know who is dreading it more...Jamie or I.  I'd had grand plans for our two week vacation....lots of of reading books as a family, going over memory work, and making math equations with cookie dough.  Instead we spent it traveling, making memories with far away family members and reveling in just general merrymaking.   I guess it was a fair trade. 

I don't have any New Year's resolutions, but I do have new tricks and schemes up my sleeve for remaining sane this year, and my new secret weapon for getting my kids to calm down at night is magnesium oil, which I'm renaming "Magic Kid Sleeping Potion".  I already knew it worked well to help Jamie sleep, because I've mixed magnesium in juice and forced it down him when he's crazier than a cat in a shower with a tin can tied on its tail.   It doesn't help Jamie sleep longer per se, but it does help him to go to sleep faster.

"Magnesium is vital for the function of GABA receptors, which exist across all areas of the brain and nervous system. GABA is a calming neurotransmitter that the brain requires to switch off; without it, we remain tense, our thoughts race and we lie in bed staring at the ceiling. Whether the brain is in 'on' of 'off' mode is a very complex area, and can also be affected by chemicals like noradrenaline, serotonin and histamine. However, on a more simple level, the most crucial balance is that of GABA vs glutamate. Whereas GABA calms, glutamate fires the brain into higher states of activity; you use the latter when solving sudoku puzzles, but you need GABA to prevail in order to go to sleep."

Basically, if you have problems shutting your brain off at night like certain little superheros in my household sometimes do, you might find magnesium helps. 




Speaking of...it's time to dose up and go to bed.   Those math lessons aren't going to get done by themselves tomorrow.  :-/ 

The Next Chapter

     In the words of my illustrious Grandmother, it feels like someone threw my whole family up in the air and we're still trying to land...some of us with more success than others.  To all of you who have helped the Ramsey faction, I don't really know what to say on a public blog that would mean anything in the grand scheme of things, but every tiny little thing you did helped.   And I promise to pass the torch and help in any way we can when someone else is suffering.

       For those who know, and those who don't... we moved out of our home in the beginning of September and are crashing with (super awesome, gracious, generous) friends until next week when we will do our best impression of the country mouse family moving to the big city.   We've leased a little third floor apartment in the actual real city of San Diego, and I'm guessing the boys won't be running around in their underwear anymore. :-P   I feel like we should apologize in advance to the tenants under us.     My knowledge of city living comes mostly from TV shows like Friends... so I don't know.... but would it be appropriate to drop off a box of doughnuts, an advance apology letter, and a broomstick for banging the ceiling when three little boys go tearing across the floor at six a.m.?   Ahem.

 

    (photo credit: The House of Hefner) 

    Apartment living with no backyard might be a bit of an adjustment for us, trading an endless backyard for a 3x8 balcony.    We'll take any suggestions, and are currently scoping out the closest parks, library, etc.   It feels great though.   I truly thought we might end up homeless for a little while there.  We were looking at campgrounds to live in...suddenly having three kids felt like way more of a responsibility.  It's harder to figure out what to do when you're not only worried about a roof over just your own head, but for three tinies as well.   I know Jim felt the pressure way more than I did, embarrassingly, he also handled it remarkably coolly despite being on a jury in the middle of it all.   But God is faithful, and he got a new position at work, and so here we are: Happily about to make the transition from a 45-60 min commute, to a 20 min commute.  Yay. 

    Robbie is a little barbarian, with wild long hair and bright blue eyes.   Every time he looks at me, I see Jim's Finnish Grandma staring back at me.  We miss her, and I wish she'd gotten to meet him.  Charlie is going through a bit of a rough phase,  he doesn't like to talk much, and he's always worried people will laugh at him.   Jamie continues to run on high octane all the time.  He goes in for testing this month to see if we can help his auditory and concentration struggles at all.   I'm glad I had Jamie first.... he cured me of the need for sleep.  Consequently I can actually get a lot done when Robbie naps like a freaking olympic medalist in the sport of slumber.

                                   (photo credit: The House of Hefner)

So that's it 2013.   You kicked my butt, and so did the year before (yes I'm looking at you 2012).   

2014, you'll have to forgive me if I'm rather dubious and cranky about your arrival.    Please be gentle to us, my family, and the rest of mankind.

Poopageddon

Today was the first day of real school for the kids...as in the kind you have to dress them and drive them to, vs the kind that happens every morning when I chase them around the house waving math worksheets at them (while Robbie chews on that brand new Pinterest project I was so sure would be the key to mastering skip counting). 

The morning got off to a slightly rocky start with the usual missing shoes and last minute discovery Robbie had gotten into Charlie's leftover cheerios.   It was only slightly more stressful thanks to Jim telling me our car's catalytic converter could be sucked through the engine at any moment and that the struts he replaced last night meant that I may have to drive down the freeway sideways in order to go straight.   I wasn't sure what that meant....should I take surface streets, or drive with my hazard lights on?  Not drive over 60mph...30mph...10mph?   Which is reaaallly hard to do when you're running late.    I ended up driving down the freeway fast, then slow, then fast, then slow as my foot and brain caught up and played tag team with each other.  "We're late!"  "Slow down"  "We're late!" "No, slow down." "We're late!".   I'm not sure what the other cars on the road thought of the gray Altima going 70mph then 50mph....then 70mph...then 50mph. 

While I was belting out songs about Charlemagne, and praying my car wouldn't spontaneously start break dancing down the freeway, I heard a rip in the back seat from the direction of Robbie's carseat.    Another plus for cloth diapers is that those wonderful snaps are harder for mischievous toddlers to get undone than the paper velcro on disposables, because yeah...Robbie undid his diaper and then proceeded to unload.    Jamie and Charlie were like horrified sports commentators as I started the slow process of getting my poor car off the freeway and into the parking lot.   "Robbie is rubbing his feet in the poop!"  "He is now dipping his pacifier in it."  "He's painting the back seat with POOP MOM!"  

Awesome.

Amazingly, after all that CC went great.  I love my class.  I'd happily tutor every day if it meant being in an air conditioned building...but of course I do it for the children.  *cough* *cough*

I also managed to turn post CC into a giant fustercluck as I went racing to the mechanic after school.  But somehow we got everything done and everyone home in one piece.    I hope the rest of the school year goes more smoothly, although honestly I secretly don't mind even the traumatizing poop drama.  At least I'm not packing anymore, and my children are great little distractions.  They keep you putting one foot in front of the other.   I don't have enough time to stress out too much about everything.   

Week 1 done.

Part II of Life

Ten years ago today I did stop and think about what ten years in the future would hold.  I was a dramatic enough teenager that I wasn't under any rosy impressions it would be perfect, but I knew it would be perfect for me.  I knew I wanted to go down that road, and although I didn't picture three blond haired little boys, or a crazy motorcycle driving husband.  I knew that whatever it was...I desperately wanted it as long as it was with Jim. 

And so at the tender age of 19, I got married.

 

And honestly it's been the best ten years of my life.   Granted, I pictured us spending our tenth anniversary on a cruise, or in Europe or something.  Instead I'm sitting here with a box of kleenex in my bare living piled high with boxes.   Moving unexpectedly with nowhere to go.   But I know God will provide somehow, someway.    If I'm being contemplative and retrospective, I wouldn't say the last ten years have been easy.  They included life and death, a baby in the NICU, heart breaking family problems...  But it has been worth it, and it will continue to be worth it.

And so maybe we'll actually get a real honeymoon on our 25th anniversary, or maybe our 50th, but really I feel just so sheepishly privileged to have Jim and still so stinkin happy, it doesn't seem fair. 

To all marriages including mine.  May they continue to last a lifetime.

The lobster turns one!

A year ago today, Robbie was chillin in his own private jacuzzi of amniotic fluid, happily chowing down on...blood? via his umbilical chord. 

A year ago today, he took his first breath, and used his vocal chords for the first time. 

Today he stole potato chips from his brother.   Took off his shoes.  Giggled, spat, laughed, got angry.  Crawled, climbed, stood, kissed, waved.   He has two giant front teeth that make him like a cartoon character, and blue eyes that I'm still expecting to turn brown.  

I'm bummed his first year has gone by so quickly.  That said, it was a rough, awful year but he was the sunshine that kept us all happy. 

Happy Birthday Robbie. 

Officially lots of things

It's official.  Robbie's first word is "more".   I've been telling Jim it's a coincidence for weeks now, but it's hard to miss the meaning when he points to my boob and says "mah" every single time he wants to eat.  He used to just sign it.  Now he signs it and says it, as if that will be more convincing. 

School is out for the Summer, and Robbie turns one tomorrow.    Last year I was really grateful for a June due date, because it meant I could have my baby in the peace and quiet of early Summer and not in the middle of a crazy school year.  That was last year.    I don't know what delusional part of my brain thought early June was ever going to be peaceful again.   It's clearly going to be a whirlwind of graduations, end-of-year programs and recitals from here on out.  Poor child may never get a birthday party. 

I killed a rattlesnake barbarian style with a big rock.  Actually, I was standing on the picnic table chucking stones at it and feeling very sorry for it.  It was very cute and sad looking, but I'm really not ok with them hanging out on my back porch.   It's not a rattlesnake's fault it's deadly.  I wonder if it even knows how feared it is.  We have a type of garter snake here that looks kind of like a rattlesnake and will even thwap its tail in a pile of leaves to fake a rattle, so clearly everyone else in the animal kingdom is aware that rattlesnakes are badass, but whenever I come across one, it always seems like it's saying "Woah, why the hate? It's not my fault I don't look like a puppy or koala bear." 

I am deep in planning mode for the next school year.   Choosing curriculum is a beastly task.  I'm like a little kid who gets lured deeper and deeper into the woods.  I keep thinking every curriculum I look at is amazing and will help with Jamie's rainbows, and then I see another one that will help with Jamie's rainbows AND unicorns. ...then I see another one that will help him with his rainbows AND unicorns AND have a pot of gold.   Part of me loves it, and part of me wishes someone would just decide for me.   Charlie is starting Kindergarten in the Fall too, and that's not helping matters.  Do I start him with SingSpellRead&Write like Jamie?  Or do I go ahead and start him with a more strict Orton Gillingham type method so that he's got a good base for Spelling and grammar later on?   In other words, is it more important that he learn to read?  Or more important that he learn why everything he's reading is written the way it is?    I feel like I've come a long ways since using the horrible "Teach Your Child To Read In 100 Easy Lessons".  Which is apparently only true if your child likes staring one black and white picture per day. 

Jim and I swapped houses with Jeff and Gabrielle this weekend.  It was wonderful to be able to carry on a conversation for more than two minutes without being interrupted.   I felt like I was missing an arm or something though.  It's a vaguely unsettling feeling to have your kids absent.   When I saw them, I wanted to smoosh them, and eat them all up.   They were only mildly interested.  They had too much fun climbing on roofs and driving a real car to miss us much.   Uncle Jeffy is a celebrity who has no equal.  I have a feeling I know a few little boys who are going to have their nose a bit pinched when their baby cousin shows up.  :-P  Speaking of baby cousins.  I keep opening up random cupboards and pantries to find my nine month pregnant SIL has cleaned and organized them for me!  Why can't I be like that when pregnant?

Succumbed

Well, I finally got that stomach flu.  Whoosh.  My first and last (feeble) claim to supermom status is throwing up, while breastfeeding, with Jamie and Charlie climbing on my back.    I know it's been said many times before, but it really does suck to be a mom and sick.  Everyone else gets taken care of when they're sick.  But mom's have to be sick and still take care of everyone else.   Jamie was a big help.  He did laundry and made meals...granted  I think he used an entire bottle of laundry detergent for a few loads, and an entire jar of jam for pb&j, but oh well.... I certainly wasn't in any position to complain. 

Here's hoping today is better.