October 25, 2004
It amazes me how I can turn something perfectly normal and functioning
into something neurotic and confusing. Instead of feeling pleased
with myself because I’m breaking records by writing two blog entries in
a week, I’m feeling guilty because I should be doing something
else. However, when I finish this I’ll feel like I
accomplished something, which will in turn motivate me to do what I
should have been doing in the first place, thus taking away the guilt
I’m feeling right now. But what good does it do me to take away
the guilt I am feeling now, after I am already done feeling it?
Instead of writing this entry I should be…
1. Filling out my absentee ballot. (which I don’t want to do, seeing as I have no clue what to vote for)
2. Returning a call to a customer I don’t want to talk to. (kudos
to all you people who talk to strangers everyday and survive)
3. Trying to fix the possessed fuse in my car. (it is really
too cold outside to even consider it) (I don’t know how my husband does
it, must be that Ohio blood)
4. Mailing the birthday present to my cousin whose birthday I
forgot yesterday ( my brain betrayed me, I reminded myself on Sat. to
call him on Sun.)
5. Talking myself into going to the meeting tonight. (do I
really need to go to a business meeting where there’s silly disco music
playing while women wearing bright red lipstick and painted smiles walk
around applauding and laughing like…like.. like Kelly Bishop from Gilmore Girls ?)
6. Finishing my homework for bible study. (I don’t want to go. I
don’t like it, and then I get there and have a great time and wonder
why I didn’t want to go in the first place)
After all that (which I realize isn’t that much) I’ll let myself do
something fun, like making chocolate chip cookies with my littlest
blonde haired sister. ….Ok, now I’m motivated.
into something neurotic and confusing. Instead of feeling pleased
with myself because I’m breaking records by writing two blog entries in
a week, I’m feeling guilty because I should be doing something
else. However, when I finish this I’ll feel like I
accomplished something, which will in turn motivate me to do what I
should have been doing in the first place, thus taking away the guilt
I’m feeling right now. But what good does it do me to take away
the guilt I am feeling now, after I am already done feeling it?
Instead of writing this entry I should be…
1. Filling out my absentee ballot. (which I don’t want to do, seeing as I have no clue what to vote for)
2. Returning a call to a customer I don’t want to talk to. (kudos
to all you people who talk to strangers everyday and survive)
3. Trying to fix the possessed fuse in my car. (it is really
too cold outside to even consider it) (I don’t know how my husband does
it, must be that Ohio blood)
4. Mailing the birthday present to my cousin whose birthday I
forgot yesterday ( my brain betrayed me, I reminded myself on Sat. to
call him on Sun.)
5. Talking myself into going to the meeting tonight. (do I
really need to go to a business meeting where there’s silly disco music
playing while women wearing bright red lipstick and painted smiles walk
around applauding and laughing like…like.. like Kelly Bishop from Gilmore Girls ?)
6. Finishing my homework for bible study. (I don’t want to go. I
don’t like it, and then I get there and have a great time and wonder
why I didn’t want to go in the first place)
After all that (which I realize isn’t that much) I’ll let myself do
something fun, like making chocolate chip cookies with my littlest
blonde haired sister. ….Ok, now I’m motivated.