Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Who said Alcohol was worse than Caffeine

After mountains of peanut brittle drowned in oceans of eggnog, I switched from jeans to spandex. Really, the season's best look for me is dresses over those soft, stretchy leggings. It's better than wearing pajamas. Despite however, the happiness of my elastic ensconced waist, the rest of me was feeling a little bit like I had electrified cotton candy running through my veins. It may or may not have been helped by the complete lack of sleep combined with my new-found love of coffee+steamed eggnog+pumpkin spice syrup. I don't think that's technically an eggnog latte unless it has espresso? No? I should know this, but I don't.

So when Gabrielle gave me this for Christmas...



...It pretty much looked like a diamond necklace to me. I ran full throttle into it's loving, but lecturing arms as I confessed my affair with all things potato related (is there even a way to prepare nasty potatoes?), my flirtation with bread and pasta, and the ten different kinds of cheeses that currently abide in my refrigerator. I have to admit, we get rather territorial with cheese in this family. There's no time like the present to take a break from bad habits, and it can't be coincidental that Christmas just happens to fall days before the page turns over on Time.

Three days into my sabbatical from gluten, sugar, alcohol and caffeine, and I'm still loving the piles of sauteed squash, the giant, dark green salads, and the mugs of peppermint tea. I have always loved all of those things, and it's no punishment to be eating them. I thought I'd miss my glass of wine, or brew, but no, it's the cheese and coffee I miss. The steady pounding in my head sounds like a whiny brat, begging for even the tiniest smidgen of green tea. When I close my eyes the whole world feels like it's spinning... spinning with wheels of Bri, wedges of Romano, and rounds of Gouda. I feel so sluggish, I think I need several shots of pure sugar shot straight into my bloodstream. It doesn't help that no matter where I hide the Christmas candy, Jamie has an uncanny knack of finding it. He doesn't even bother eating in secret, he munches on it happily while I try to move my heavy bones in his direction. I made him sit in his room with the door closed while I stowed it deep in the recesses of the cleaning closet on a high shelf, but he still found it. I wonder if he can smell it like a vampire smells blood? He tells me it's ok because he's sharing with Charlie. Lovely.



In happier news, these adorable munchkins had a reunion with my kids on Monday morning. Joel and Jamie have been two peas in a pod since they were itty bitty. They haven't changed much, they still get into everything and never stop moving. They've only added chattering, and lanky height to their sizable list of skills. They've also gotten a few siblings. ;-)

5 comments:

Toiling Ant said...

Why no cheese? Are you off dairy as well as gluten, etc.?

Kat said...

I know how you feel I am fasting caffeine for 21 days as a part of our church 21 day fast. It too almost a week for the splitting headache to go away. Then I wonder why I allow myself to slip back into my caffeinated comas when I now it will be painful to stop. *sigh* I'm my own worst enemy

Ez said...

Whooops, yeah, we're off of dairy too. Just trying to give the ol' body a break for a little while.

Bekah said...

I would ask questions about this Clean Food book, but I have to confess that my diet is 15% coffee, 10% wine...and two of my favorite parts of the day. So maybe I don't want to know.

Lauryl Lane said...

I went off dairy for 3 months last summer/fall... and noticed no significant changes either healthwise or weightwise. So GIMME CHEESE!!! ;-)